"I was brutish and ignorant; I was like a beast towards you. Nevertheless, I am continually with you, you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will receive me to glory.
Then during my devotion one day, I read about inner beauty, and how it was better than being pretty. I was like, “Wow, that’s what I want!” Now every morning I would challenge myself to be a servant heart, to not complain and to love everyone. Everyone. That meant even the people who’d ignored me, made fun of me, yelled at me, hated me. I don’t think I have any human enemies now!
While reading the Bible to quench my thirst for inner beauty, I was able to grow closer to God and to realize the truth about myself. It didn’t matter what other people thought of me. It didn’t matter if they told me I was ugly and weird and crazy. It didn’t matter if I had no friends. It didn’t matter if I was ignored. It didn’t matter if no one liked the way I was. It didn’t matter if I was always left out.
It only mattered that God still loved me.
It’s true. Don’t you ever doubt your worth. God says you are “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14) and that He sees you as perfect and faultless because of what Jesus has done. You don’t have to live in fear of what others think. Don’t let what other people say define you.
Okay, I’m getting off the topic of trust. So now I am fourteen years old, and I am no longer ignored, no longer hated, no longer ugly in my own eyes. I am striving to live for Christ, to have a servant heart, and to love. And I am seeing the fruit of my labor. Why?
Back in my childhood, when I was never first, God was teaching me to be a servant. To let go of my own desires. When I was ignored, God was teaching me to rely on Him, not on my friends. When I thought I was ugly, God was using that to help me see that inner beauty is more important than outer prettiness. When I was hurled at by insults about myself, God used that to teach me that it only matters what He says about me.
I only wished I had trusted Him more during that important part of my life, instead of complaining and glowering.
So you see, without all those trials that I went through as a child, I would’ve been a very different person. I probably wouldn’t be here today telling you this.
You’re probably thinking, “Why are you telling me this if you didn’t even trust God?” You’re right. I didn’t, though I was saved, and I should’ve. But the story I just told you is how God can use downright terrible things and turn it into something super amazing.
I can honestly say that I am 100% thankful for what I went through, and I am fully satisfied and entirely grateful for who God created me to be. Also, soon after I learned the truth about inner beauty, the insults and attention-deprived moments became extremely rare. It was like God had told those people to do that to me so I would learn and then removed it after I had learned.
If you were to ask me what I would change about my physical appearance, I would say nothing. If you were to ask me something I would change about my childhood, I would say nothing. God created you to be unique. Don’t try to blend in with the world.
I shudder at who I might’ve been.
Now, if I had trusted God throughout all the trials, you might've seen bigger changes in me. Maybe I would’ve complained less, been more joyful, and drawn even closer to God. I did start to trust God more towards the end, and today I try to fully trust Him with everything (though I still fail!), and I urge you to do the same. Also, embrace who you are. Don’t go wishing for different things. You are special, unique, created for a purpose.
My challenge for you today is this: Go throughout the entire day without complaining, and when things don’t go your way, trust God. And always consider it pure joy no matter what.
I’ll be praying for you. I love y'all so much. May God bless you through this message.
"I have said these things to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation, but take heart;
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"I will give thanks to you, Lord, with all of my heart; I will tell of all your wonderful deeds."