Dear God...What if I'm doubting?

Hey everyone! I know it's been a looong time since I've posted something, so thank you all SO much for your patience! It's been a wild, exciting, and challenging month, and today I just wanted to share about what's going on in my life and how God has been working in me and showing Himself to me! 

First of all, I'm going on a missions trip to Costa Rica TODAY!! (Please please keep me and the beautiful people there in your prayers!) It's been just really really cool how God directed me to this certain trip and made it clear to me that this was the one. As I've been getting closer to the departure date, there's been a lot of stress, spiritual attack, and fear. I have to remind myself that it's okay to not have it all together. It's okay to not be perfect. In fact - I can't be perfect. And it's okay to cry. The devil wants us to be strong, to not cry, to be all put-together. Why? Because if we are, then we'll think we don't need God. But we do. And we're all broken and in desperate need of our Savior! ​

There are doubts, too, that keep popping into my head. Doubts like, can I really do this? Am I good enough? And then there's also the other way around - This is gonna be great! I'm so good at this. It'll be a blast. I love making friends. I knew that both of these - pride and insecurity - were not good. Last night, I prayed, "God, how can I be humble and not push myself down and make myself insecure? But how can I not push myself down without becoming prideful?" And this thought "randomly" popped into my mind right after - no coincidence, I'm sure: People say don't doubt yourself - but it should really be don't doubt what GOD can do. 

A lot of times, we get so focused on ourselves and what we  can do or can't do. We think the Bible is all about us. We think everything's all about us. I'm totally guilty of this! Sometimes I treat God like a genie, and that's not okay. I think too that we often get stuck in ourselves so much that we forget to look up and look at God. And when we forget to look and cry out to God, all we see is our problem and our pain (and I'm not saying that your pain is not real!!) and we think it's so huge. So vast.

​But when we look at our amazing, big, loving God, our problem gets soo very tiny. It's really all about perspective! So often we focus on our pain and our trials and we forget who we serve. We forget who our Daddy is. We forget that our God is the creator of the UNIVERSE, of our whole world, of ourselves. We forget that our Heavenly Father cares about me, specifically. About you, specifically. About all of His children, specifically. He cares for the sparrows - how much more will he care about you?? Look up! Look to Jesus! He is so much greater than your suffering and your pain. No, I don't mean to invalidate your pain. I know you hurt.

​But you know who knows that better? Your Father. He is there when you hurt. He saw you receive that insult. He saw your mom pass away. He was there. And He felt the pain, too. But there is MORE than what your pain is telling you. God wants to comfort you and help you and fill you with His peace! Why? Because He cares about you. Look to Him and keep your eyes on Him always.