I CHOOSE YOU [life update - using a song! part 1]

Heyyyy what's up beautiful people!! Aah...I've always wanted to start a blog post like that ;) I hope and pray y'all are doing well and that God has been growing you so so much in this season!! I'm sorry it's been a while since I've posted on here, I had previously been focusing on my IG account (@stillyouloveme). But I'm back and I'm so blessed by all of you who reached out to me and for your encouragement!! 

I thought I'd do a life update of what's going on in my life right now, and what God has been teaching me lately! I'll post half of it today and half tomorrow morning, so it's not one humongous post :) ​

There's this song that I've been listening to lately on repeat hehe (I'm sorry, those who live with me!!), I Choose by Alessia Cara from a movie that I have not watched. It's honestly such a cutee songg, and it makes me so smile so big listening to it! It's so much fun to sing, too. 

​Today as I was driving home and singing it, I realized that I related a looot more to it than I thought. I love taking a song that's not explicitly about God and turning it into one by the way I sing it. Soo, hehe, after you listen to the song...I'll go through the the lyrics and talk about the significance in it to me :) 

Okie dokes, here we go! Here's the beginning of the song: 

All of my life/I thought I was right/Looking for something new/Stuck in my ways
Like old-fashioned days/But all the roads led me to you
​
This part reminds me of the constant day-to-day battle I face: trying to find happiness, joy, meaning, & worth in so many things - other people, guys, crushes, appearance, feelings, etc. It's been hard lately, remembering that I can only find true joy and fulfillment in God! I keep thinking that if I try harder, I can get it from someplace else...but no, EVERYTHING I need I ALREADY have in Christ! And I'm learning to trust that God's reward is so much greater than the best that the world could offer. 

God has also recently helped me forgive someone that I had held a grudge against for a looong time. I know I've talked about this before, but guys...when we don't forgive, it literally is like swallowing poison. It's awful, and it blocks you from receiving God's forgiveness, too :( So, I guess you could say I was "stuck in my ways" until it got so limiting & painful that it led me right back to Him. And wow, forgiveness and reconciliation feels SO good!! It took lots of prayer and surrender, though :)

"All the roads led me back to you." Something my mom prayed for me about and helped me see recently is that I can learn from literally anyone or anything. It's the same Spirit - the Holy Spirit - that lives inside us as believers, and He can speak through someone else as much as he can speak through a world-famous pastor or something! We're all just jars of clay He works through :) He's not limited (praise God!!) and He can even use a cute little (dead) cactus to lead me back to Him! 

The house that you live in don't make it a home/ But feeling lonely don't mean you're alone/People in life, they will come and they'll leave/But if I had a choice I know where I would be

I'm learning, also, that just because someone grew up in a Christian home doesn't mean they're automatically a Christian. It's important that I don't stop letting my light shine in the midst of church people, because you never know where someone's heart's at, or what doubts they may have! It's also superrr important that we pray for the church!

Another thing I've learned is that something that appears to be something doesn't always mean exactly that. A guy who may be hitting on me may be doing that because he's lonely or insecure, like me, and is trying to find worth through that. And it's okay for me to have compassion on him, and be kind to him, instead of worrying immediately that I'm leading him on or start avoiding him as much as possible or getting annoyed. Of course, we should all find our identity in God -- but a lil bit of kindness can go a long way ;) I make lots and lots of assumptions (like thinking adults and guys don't have feelings...sorry!!) and it's important to remember to check to see if it's truth :)

Something that may seem like a burden - like having to stay home - may be a blessing in disguise! Let's praise God for what He's going to do, instead of complaining about what He didn't do. Remember, He's not limited!! He can and WILL turn everything into good!

Also!! Sweet friends, God is always with you!! You might be feeling lonely right now - that no one sees you, that you're worth nothing, that no one cares about you - but let me tell you something super duper cool: amongst the 7.8 billion people living right now, God knows YOUR name and EVERYTHING about you. He knows when you rise and when you sit down, He knows your thoughts, your pains, your troubles, and He LOVES YOU. Like ummm talk about being fully loved and fully known! 

One last thing on the pre-chorus. COMMUNITY IS KEY. So often, I'm like, "Ah, Emma, you got this! You don't need help." And then it's like....nope, nah dude. Community is so important if you want to grow in faith. They can help you stay accountable, and call you out, and encourage you, and pray for you, and teach you, and you can do the same to them - which brings so much joy!! Even in the midst of having to stay at home a lot, I encourage you to make an effort to stay in community - whether that's virtually or in person. 

Eee there's so much more that's been going on!! God is so so gracious, and I can't wait to share the rest with y'all tomorrow morning! Stay tuned ;)