the blog.
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"But for me it is good to be near God; I have made the Lord God my refuge, that I may tell of all your works."
Psalms 73:28 |
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March 15 / 4 min read  
Heyy friends! Thank you SO much for being patient with me. I can't believe it's been five whole months since I last posted something!!
As I was cutting a mango today, trying to decide how I should spend the extra time I gained from my class being cancelled, the Holy Spirit brought this blog to mind. So here I am, about to try to write a post in twenty minutes...(Lord help me 😅). When I planned this series last year, I wasn't planning on talking about waiting so soon...but I feel like God is prompting me to share about it today, and so I'm gonna talk to you about some things I've learned that have really helped me. You might not be waiting on relationships - maybe you're waiting on God to change your heart in a particular area you're really wrestling through or help you get through a really difficult season or something else. I think we're all in seasons of waiting, though, and so I pray this encourages you :). If we were sitting in a coffee shop together (with cute green plants and everything ;) ), this is what I'd tell you: Sweet friend, waiting is hard. I don't want to invalidate that at ALL. It is so so so so soooo sosososososooo hard. I feel you!! But it's the most refining thing at the same time, and it's in the waiting that I've grown the most. And it's okay that it's hard. God walks in it with you, and He understands and feels your pain...man, think about all the people God is waiting on to turn to Him and be saved! But God is patient our whole lives long, and He's not in a hurry.
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 Note: I wrote the first half of this post a while ago (last May I think) but never finished because I still didn't understand why it happened or what God was trying to teach me. Now that it's been a year, I realize more of what the Lord was teaching me.
Sometime early last year, I became really good friends with these two guys (one was a year older than me and one was two years younger). And when I mean really good friends, I mean really good friends. We shared our troubles, our trials, and our joys with each other. We called each other brothers and sisters in Christ. We texted pretty much every day, all day. We prayed for each other. We loved each other. It was an amazing thing, and I loved it. Here were like-minded people who constantly encouraged me in my walk with God. Here were people who I knew I could go to in tough times. Here were people I knew I could trust. We shared countless laughs and created priceless memories. The older one was like the older brother I never had. He taught me so much and shared so much with me, and we learned from each other. The other one was also like my younger brother. We shared so many laughs and memories. I taught him things and he taught me things. We all assumed we'd be friends for the rest of our lives. I'll always look back on the year 2017 with a smile.  Fear. This is something everyone deals with. Something that continually holds us back from doing things we should be doing, want to be doing, and wish we could be doing. Fear is such a strong weapon of the enemy, and he's good at using it! So many of us are drowning in our fear; we can hardly move. And then we can't obey the Lord when He calls us to do something because we're so busy worrying about what's going to happen! We're afraid of the unknown. We're afraid of people. We’re even afraid of being afraid! Maybe for you, you've been stuck in your fear for quite a while, but have been trying to break out of it for quite some time. And maybe some of you are stuck in fear and don't even want to get out, because it seems safer somehow.
I feel you- I've been there. And I've definitely dealt with fear before!! And to be honest, it's also really, really daunting and scary for me to share so much about myself - especially knowing that a lot of my friends and family are going to read it. I'm afraid that people will think it's wrong, hypocritical, that it'll be taken the wrong way or that I'll be judged by my weaknesses. It's hard to be transparent. It's hard to share my innermost struggles- but I do it because I know God wants me to, because He sees something in me that I don't. He knows that somehow, someone's going to be impacted by these words that I write, even if I never know. And most of the time, I don't. It's kind of better that way, 'cuz it's easy for me to become proud of "my" accomplishments! It's all God though, really. Anything good that you ever see in me is 100% Him- 0% me. I'm not exaggerating.  Welcome to Watch Them Fall: Day 1! Today we have an encouraging message from a good friend of mine. What she says is so true, in that we need to trust Him through it all, and I think she really hit on some strong points! I'm praying for you all as you read this, and I hope our faithful God will speak to you through her words. And don't be afraid to comment and let us know what you thought or how God used this to teach you something. Love you all, but remember that God loves you more.
... I grew up in a Christian family with really strong foundations. Not only were my parents pastors of the church, they were our teachers. The persons that guided us through our daily life with the word of God. They have been very optimistic and encouraging my whole entire life but… sometimes it’s hard for us to be like that.  I HATE CHANGE. I'm going to run away every Sunday and go by myself to church, even if I have to walk the whole way.
I literally thought that the day my parents told us were leaving our church of seven years. I had grown up in that church, I knew everyone there and everyone knew me (taken we had less than a hundred people). Us kids played football, baseball, mafia, cops and robbers- pretty much every game we could think of every Sunday after church.  Fomo. I've dealt a looot with this fear-of-missing-out thing. The fear of missing out on conversations, texts, hangouts, styles, boys, friends, FOOD, memories...you name it. I constantly jumped from conversation to conversation, trying to find a place to fit in. I constantly thought and wondered that maybe if I added some old skool shoes or trendy clothes to my outfit, maybe wore make-up, maybe acted more mature and held-together and more lady-like, maybe liked a certain guy or made him like me, maybe watched all the things everyone likes, participate in all the trends sweeping through school, or danced like that guy from school, or joined in those juicy conversations...maybe people would admire me. Maybe they'd remember that I exist. Maybe people would come swarming around me, seeking my company. Maybe I could be a part of the popular crowd where people always wanted to be around me. Maybe I could feel like I finally belonged and fit in...
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