"I was brutish and ignorant; I was like a beast towards you. Nevertheless, I am continually with you, you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will receive me to glory.
Here's the true story about me if you’re still having trouble trusting Him.
I am a middle child. I had only one older sister and one younger sister. (Well, until my brother came along nine years later, but I’m getting ahead of myself). When people came over, especially people who haven’t seen us in a while, they’re always like, “Wow, you’re so tall now!” (to my older sister) or “Aww, she's so cute!” (to my younger sister).
But I almost never heard anything about me. I know that may sound really selfish, but that’s not the point. In games it was always, “Youngest go first!” or “Oldest go first!” Practically my whole childhood, I never really got to go first. And no, I’m not complaining. Don’t judge me quite yet.
My parents had originally decided three was a perfect number of children, so therefore, I think they were really trying to treasure my younger sister (I don’t blame them, she was really cute). And the oldest was greatly praised whenever she did something new. And I don’t blame my parents for doing that either. It’s a new phase of life! I think it’s something all parents do, or maybe that was just God’s plan. The youngest just happen to be the cutest one and the oldest the smart and pretty one. I’d probably do the same thing myself.
I also had these skinny, (and ugly) purple glasses. Constantly I was thinking, “I’m ugly, I’m not pretty, I hate everything, I wish I had blonde hair, I wish I had green eyes, I wish I had a different name,” and so on and so on. I also kept asking myself, “Why did God give me glasses?” I was so unhappy. To make things worse, someone close to me was always saying everything that was on her mind- even if it hurt someone. So, I was constantly hearing, “Your nose is fat! You’re uglier than me! Your clothes don’t match! Don’t do that that’s weird!” Imagine how my insecurity grew.
And whenever there was a family gathering, I was constantly left out and alone, left to fend for myself. I was trying to blend in with everyone, but even doing that still left me with hardly any friends. I was the girl who sat at a table alone with all these people I didn’t know because my “friends” didn’t bother to invite me to sit with them or save me a seat. I don’t think they ever even noticed I was missing!
But that's not the end of the story...
"I have said these things to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation, but take heart;
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"I will give thanks to you, Lord, with all of my heart; I will tell of all your wonderful deeds."