"I was brutish and ignorant; I was like a beast towards you. Nevertheless, I am continually with you, you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will receive me to glory.
Today we have a compelling testimony from a good friend and amazing brother in Christ, Ty. For those of you struggling with depression: you may feel alone, but you are NOT alone. There is one who wants to pick you up, comfort you, and show you how to live a life full of joy and love. There is more than what is right in front of you. God loves you as you are. I pray that the Holy Spirit would speak life into your life right now, and that you would feel His presence as you read this and throughout the rest of your life. Love you all <3
Before I start I’d like to thank With All of my heart for this opportunity, my family for staying by me, and, most importantly, Jesus Christ.
When I was younger I would often try to see if my friends were Christian. So I’d ask them, “Are you Christian?” They’d usually respond “yes” then I would often reply, “Oh, so what church do you go to?” Yet the response that I would always seem to get is, “Oh, I don’t go to church.” It wasn’t until this summer when I realized how important church really is for our walk with God.
To show this I’m going to take you throughout the toughest period of my life, and show you how the body of Christ helped save my life from my own hands.
When I was 11 I fell into a constant state of depression. I was saying to myself, “I’m ugly” and “I’ll never amount to anything.” While saying this to myself is dangerous, this was only the beginning as I would later start saying, “I don’t wanna live anymore.” This pushed me to make attempts to end my life. I’ve tried to overdose on whatever I could find, I’ve tried hanging myself and I almost mustered up the courage to stab myself. During this time God had placed me in a group of people who, whether they know it or not, saved my life from my own hands.
I transitioned from a church that wasn’t helping me with my walk to a church that was equipping me to own my faith, I met a dude named Edward Fairley. I remember talking about God with him all of the time. He became one of my best friends and helped me to break free of depression. Later I met a friend named Kayla and how she was always positive helped me to start saying more positive things to myself. Fast forward a few years and I meet a man named Will who was just as damaged as I was but with the both of us keeping each other accountable we are able to have our testimony be a weapon against Satan. After all of this it took me until July 20 of this year to know that the worst part of my life got worse because I was living as a “lone wolf christian.”
To clarify a “lone wolf christian” is someone who believes that they can live their christian life without the assistance of an accountability partner or a group of people to walk with them through their brokenness. From personal experience let me just tell you that living life like this is impossible. A college basketball coach named Markee Freeman once told me that “When under extreme pressure, humans go back to their deeply held habits.” Even though she said this in relation to basketball this also can apply to your everyday life. When I was in the middle of my brokenness and I couldn’t get myself back up, my natural habit was to not ask for help. It wasn’t until I let people into my shattered life that I became healed.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 says, “Two are better than one, because they have good return on their labor. If either one of them falls, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to pick them up. Also if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered two can defend themselves. A three strand cord is not easily broken.” Throughout our walk with God we will stumble and we will fall but the only thing that’ll separate the ones who overcome and the ones who perish in their sin, are the ones who have a battle buddy to pick them up. “Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you’ll fulfill the law of Christ,” Galatians 6:2. It is really hard to move a couch up a flight of steps, but if you have someone to bear the burden with you, moving the couch doesn’t seem that hard.
When you are faced with trials and tribulation but you have your battle buddy by your side, the giant obstacle that was in front just seems like a pebble that was in the way. Exposing my brokenness to people was extremely scary, but it was the best decision that I’ve ever made in my life. If you are going through something that is getting the best of you, tell someone that you can trust to not tell anyone and to give you godly advice. Get started as soon as possible because “As iron sharpens iron, one man sharpens another” Proverbs 27:17.
image cred: West Dartmoor graphic design: With All of My Heart
"I have said these things to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation, but take heart;
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"I will give thanks to you, Lord, with all of my heart; I will tell of all your wonderful deeds."