Hey everyone! I know it's been a looong time since I've posted something, so thank you all SO much for your patience! It's been a wild, exciting, and challenging month, and today I just wanted to share about what's going on in my life and how God has been working in me and showing Himself to me!
First of all, I'm going on a missions trip to Costa Rica TODAY!! (Please please keep me and the beautiful people there in your prayers!) It's been just really really cool how God directed me to this certain trip and made it clear to me that this was the one. As I've been getting closer to the departure date, there's been a lot of stress, spiritual attack, and fear. I have to remind myself that it's okay to not have it all together. It's okay to not be perfect. In fact - I can't be perfect. And it's okay to cry. The devil wants us to be strong, to not cry, to be all put-together. Why? Because if we are, then we'll think we don't need God. But we do. And we're all broken and in desperate need of our Savior!
Hey family (; I know this post is on the longer side, but I really encourage you to read through it (and I promise it won't be boring!).
Early this morning (I wrote this on the 10th), as I was having my devotion, I started to pray. I had been praying for maybe fifteenish minutes when my back started hurting, and so I lay down and continued to pray. Yea…I don't recommend doing this. My bed felt especially comfy today and before I knew it, I was sound asleep…
But as I was sleeping, I had this dream:
Me and two of my friends are inside my church, minding our own business and that stuff when suddenly someone comes running to us, yelling at me to hide because a mob was coming to get me specifically. Frantic, we race into a lil corner that was somewhat sealed off from the hallway, where they are coming. My heart's racing fast as I hear the yells and the footsteps coming closer.
"What do we do, what to we do?" I ask my two friends.
"Here, take this straw and cup - " orders the older of my friends. "And dig into that wall right there. We'll crawl in and be safe."
Dear Father ~
Nine days ago, I went on a one-day missions’ trip with Unity4Orphans. Father, it was so eye-opening and heartbreaking. It’s crazy that in my little world, I’m constantly complaining about what I have or don’t have, wishing for more cute clothes, more food – more anything, basically – when those kids over at the orphanage have nothing. They’ve lost their families, their parents, and they live solely on faith, trusting that You will provide for them each day. The kids there get so little attention and so little love – not that those in charge aren’t loving them, but that they ratio of adults to kids is so imbalanced. Over here, I’m thriving, so much so that I’ve lost track of what’s truly important. I get so caught up in pleasing the world, pleasing the guys – when all these kids want is to be heard and loved!! People visit them maybe a few times a month, but what about the other days? How do they keep on going, keep on pushing through, when every day is a battle in itself?
Okay...this story is kinda embarrassing haha but I’mma have to share it:
Soo I've never liked bugs. Correction: I'm scared of big bugs (little ones are cute...once we had a funeral for a roly-poly, complete with a song). Yesterday, I was in my online five a.m. class at home, participating and learning and that stuff (and eaaating) when I see this giant mosquito by my foot. AHH! In case you don't know, mosquitoes are those big bugs with a long needle like something for a mouth and they bite you and suck your blood and stuff. It's also caused a lot of diseases. But besides all that, it was a bug. I gave a little shriek (thank goodness my feet were covered by my blanket) and tried to scoot away from it. I don't know what I was thinking - I had headphones on for class and was pretty much stuck in front of the computer in the small room with a blood sucking mosquito right near me. And what if it laid its eggs in my water??
What is "TOMORROW"? What is next week? Next time? Next year? What is this word "future"? I don't get it. I don't understand. We push everything aside, saying we'll do it when it's convenient. We'll go pray for that person tomorrow. We'll go share the gospel with that person tomorrow. We'll go be kind tomorrow. We'll go love tomorrow. We'll believe tomorrow.
NO!! Tomorrow is TODAY and TODAY is all we have! Tomorrow is not a guarantee- tomorrow I may be friendless, homeless, forgotten and without a family. Tomorrow I may be nothing. Tomorrow I may be history. Today is all I have - and I will use it. I'm not about to sit around on my couch and let everything pass me by. "It's just not time" - but when will it be time? When I'm no longer around, and it's too late? When the so-called "tomorrow" happens? I don't know what's going to happen tonight. I don't know what's going to happen even in five minutes. I don't know!
Note: I wrote the first half of this post a while ago (last May I think) but never finished because I still didn't understand why it happened or what God was trying to teach me. Now that it's been a year, I realize more of what the Lord was teaching me.
Sometime early last year, I became really good friends with these two guys (one was a year older than me and one was two years younger). And when I mean really good friends, I mean really good friends. We shared our troubles, our trials, and our joys with each other. We called each other brothers and sisters in Christ. We texted pretty much every day, all day. We prayed for each other. We loved each other. It was an amazing thing, and I loved it. Here were like-minded people who constantly encouraged me in my walk with God. Here were people who I knew I could go to in tough times. Here were people I knew I could trust. We shared countless laughs and created priceless memories. The older one was like the older brother I never had. He taught me so much and shared so much with me, and we learned from each other. The other one was also like my younger brother. We shared so many laughs and memories. I taught him things and he taught me things. We all assumed we'd be friends for the rest of our lives.
I'll always look back on the year 2017 with a smile.
"I have said these things to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation, but take heart;
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"I will give thanks to you, Lord, with all of my heart; I will tell of all your wonderful deeds."