"I was brutish and ignorant; I was like a beast towards you. Nevertheless, I am continually with you, you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will receive me to glory.
BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.
Yawnnnn. After snoozing my alarm a few times, I jumped out of bed. Walking over to the table, I sat down, opened my prayer journal, and pulled out a pen.
I asked the Holy Spirit what He wanted to tell me that day, and I felt like He was telling me to trust Him - which to me didn't really make sense, because there wasn't really anything out of the ordinary that was supposed to happen that day.
It was my favorite day of the week - Thursday, which meant co-op, which was when I got to see my homeschool friends and go to some of my favorite classes.
But, uh, okay, Holy Spirit, if you want me to trust you, then sure, I'll trust you.
Fast forward an hour or so: I'm at my class day (co-op) now, and I'm trying to get some school done while I wait for my class to start in about an hour. Perfectly normal. I'm getting excited about some of my classes especially, and I just can't wait for it all to starttt!
And then, my mom walks over to me, and her words make my heart sink.
She says, "Co-op is cancelled from 10:30 on - we'll have to go home."
Ha ha...No wayyy!! Just the night before, it was considered very unlikely that it would be cancelled. But no, it was really cancelled, and we were going to need to clean up everythinggg and head home.
Why? Well...CORONA. Better safe than sorry, right?
To be honest, I was not happy hearing that. I was frustrated and I was really disappointed....Thursday was literally my FAVORITE dayyy of the week, especially because that was like one of the only times I got out of the house xD. And now I wasn't going to see all my friends, or go to my classes, or talk with the little kids, or finish painting that cute panda....
All these frustrating, upsetting thoughts were rushing to my mind when suddenly, in the midst of all my complaining and irritation, the Holy Spirit reminded me of what He'd told me that morning:
Remember what I told you this morning? Trust me. Will you trust me in this?
Oooof. I had to pause, and step back, and pray that God would just completely change my mindset. I said, "Okay, Lord, I will trust you. Please help me!! Help me to have joy in this. I reallyyyy need you!" And okay, wow.
Literally a few minutes later, the Lord just filled me with peace and joy and that day ended up being one of my favorite Thursdays by far. The Lord's ways are truly higher and better than mine!
Even though my day didn't go as expected, I ended up being able to see my friends MORE than normal - anddd on top of all that goodness and funness, it was raining! And squeeeee I LOVE RAIN so muchhh!! So as a bonus, while I got to serve and help put away chairs and tables, I also got to run out in the rain every now and then and get my hair all wet. I just had so much joy that day, it was crazy.
In choosing to trust Him and surrendering my wants and disappointments to Him, the Lord replaced those feelings with feelings of joy and contentment.
And, not to mention, I had SO much fun cleaning up with everyone! God truly had a plan. It wasn't what I wanted, it wasn't what I'd planned - but it was no surprise to Him. He knew all along what was ultimately better for me - learning to continually put my trust in Him, even when all my feelings told me to do otherwise.
Isaiah 55:8-9 tells us:
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,
Is there anyone better out there in whom we can put our trust in than the One who knows all things and has greater and better plans and ways than us? God literally knows every millisecond of our life and what's going to happen. He sees it all, and He knows exactly what needs to happen and what will happen!
Before I end, I want to share three steps - the 3 Rs - that help me when it's hard to trust God with you all ;)
1. REMEMBER HOW HE'S BEEN FAITHFUL IN THE PAST.
2. REMIND YOURSELF OF WHO HE IS.
3. REACH OUT TO HIM AND ASK FOR HIS STRENGTH AND HELP!
Just to explain a lil more: when you're having trouble trusting God, think of an example in the past when something you thought was going to be terrible ended up being good! Then, remember what kind of God you serve: He is all-knowing, completely in control, and working for your good. He has a plan, even in this! And most importantly - remember that you can't do this on your own! Pray that He would give you the strength to keep on trusting Him, even when it's hard.
And hey - it's going to be okay. I know this Covid 19 season is crazy, and scary, and long, and it's stopping you from doing all the things you love and look forward to. For some of you, it might be more serious than just missing out on events, and maybe someone you know has it, and seriously.
But I pray that in the midst of the trial, you would keep your eyes fixed on the One that's in control and remember that He's going to turn this into something good. I pray that you would put your trust in the One who holds the future <3
"I have said these things to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation, but take heart;
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"I will give thanks to you, Lord, with all of my heart; I will tell of all your wonderful deeds."