"I was brutish and ignorant; I was like a beast towards you. Nevertheless, I am continually with you, you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will receive me to glory.
Heyyy family! I just got back last week from Costa Rica and let me just say that God is SOOO GOOD. Like wow. I could go on and on about the trip, but I'ma save that for a later post (more like postss because there's soo much!!). Today, though, I wanted to share something that actually happened before I left.
When I was young, I was often by myself. We'd go to events or family dinners or parties, and I would be in the corner, alone. It wasn't necessarily that people didn't want me to join them. It may have been because I, as a shy kid, was too afraid to join. But I never thought of that then - I just kinda felt left out all the time and doubted myself.
Even though I'm much older now, I still have scars from that. I still hurt from it (though not as much) It still pops up every now and then. Insecurity is so real and feeling left out is something that a ton of people feel but only a few talk about!
A few days/weeks (I forget) before leaving on my trip, an image popped into my mind (no coincidence, fam!).
It was a picture of God's hand holding mine, and this image has never been far from my mind since.
When I feel alone, scared, worried, joyful - anything, really - I am reminded of this picture. God is holding my hand, which also means that God is right next to me. He goes everywhere I go (it's not possible to hold someone's hand without being present with them!) When I'm scared, He's right there beside me, telling me that He's with me and that He'll protect me. When I'm alone, He reminds me that He's with me and He chooses to spend time with me. He enjoys spending time with me. When I don't know what to say, I look to Him and He tells me what to say, just like my earthly Daddy does.
He points out with His other hand things that He sees - people who are hurting - and He doesn't just say, "Go talk to that person" - He says, "Go talk to that person, and I'll come with you and help you and tell you what to say." He's holding my hand and He will never let go. He will uphold me with His righteous right hand. He is with me in the darkest, blackest night, holding my hand and watching over me. How comforting is that?!
I've known from when I was little that God would never leave me. But I didn't really truly understand that He was always with me until this image came into my mind. The thought - the reality - of Him holding my hand just hit me in a way that made me not only know it, but believe it. Experience it. He's always with me!! He was there when I was laughed at. He was there when I was scared. He was there when I cried. He was there when I did things no one else saw and He was there when no one else celebrated with me. He was there when I doubted myself. He was there when I tripped and fell (over nothing) for the hundredth time that day. He was there in every moment, every situation, every joy, trial, and leap. He was there when I forgot that He was there. He was ALWAYS there. He IS always there.
I don't know about you, but, um, WOW!? This gives me soo much peace, knowing that the GOD of the UNIVERSE is holding me tightly! He is with me. He is with me. HE IS WITH ME!! As someone who has dealt with fear of being unwanted, looked over, and left out, the fact that God wants to hold my hand - something so intimate - and never ever EVER let go makes me smile so big. I'm smiling as I write this! Wowww!! Praise the Lord!
And right now, God is holding YOUR hand. He's with you and He'll never let you go. He's gonna stay right by your side, through the valleys and the hills and everything in between. When your feet slip and your eyes go dim, God will be there to guide you and hold you up. He loves you. You are His daughter, His son. You are His child. And He understands that you hurt - He experienced it with you. He was there. He was there all along. And He will never, never, never never never never never never never never neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr N E V E R LET. YOU. GO.
PRAISE THE LORD!!
"I have said these things to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation, but take heart;
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"I will give thanks to you, Lord, with all of my heart; I will tell of all your wonderful deeds."