"I was brutish and ignorant; I was like a beast towards you. Nevertheless, I am continually with you, you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will receive me to glory.
Happy Sunday! Today we have a post by my friend Emily about EQ: Emotional Intelligence. This is something lots of people can struggle with, and hopefully this post will help you. And don't forget to pray!
“Don’t promise when you’re happy
Don’t reply when you are angry
Don’t decide when you’re sad”
You know those situations when you are late for an important event and realize you have no control over the ordeal? You can’t legally drive yet, your mom is getting impatient because you should have left the house twenty minutes ago but for some reason no one has their ducks in a row. When you finally pull out of the drive, mom is crankier than ever. Better not say anything or World War III will break out. But then your sibling who seems amazingly ignorant of the strained situation starts rambling on about random stuff which makes everything worse. That’s when you notice you left something important at home and you realize asking your mom to turn the car around and waste another 10 precious minutes will be a risky idea. But you ask anyway. And your sibling raises their voice too. And then your mom does. And World War III begins.
I’ve been in that situation before, and more than likely you have too. Isn’t it amazing how one task can turn into a mini war as emotions rise and shots are fired? If I don’t like someone, I ignore them. Someone roasts me a little too hard, I roast them harder or shut down completely (I’m really good at doing both). If I feel inadequate, I fall for the pit of lies that encourages the idea that I am truly no good and use it to justify my behavior. The human mind responds to negativity so often that it is difficult to discern when it happens.
Understanding and having the capacity of be aware of and in control of how you express your feelings is called Emotional Intelligence (EQ). As an emotionally driven person, I’m not saying to stifle your feelings, but as Christians, we are to be “sober-minded” and “set our hope fully on the grace…. Of Jesus Christ” (1 Peter 1:13). This means not allowing myself to fall into the destructive pattern of negative thoughts which often affect my actions. This past year has led to much negativity due to stress at school, political divide, and the often overwhelming lie that I’m not doing this whole “Christian life” thing right. But there are five steps to help with negative feelings that often stem from interactions with others and outside forces.
Whether you are eight years old or 80 (and even if you’re not religious) you can increase your emotional intelligence by simply learning to become aware of your feeling. Think about what you are feeling. You are made new in Him and not a slave to your emotions. This doesn’t mean you can no longer allow yourself to become angry or lament when you need to. (There is a whole book in the Bible dedicated to that – it’s called Lamentations). God wants us to be genuine with Him. He wants and open honest heart that is willing to grow.
Emotional Intelligence is a topic that has undergone much research from psychologists and scientists alike. However, I believe it is a wonderful disguise for another not-so-epic word: maturity. And that is something I know I don’t have. But I ask God to give me grace as I learn to give everything – all my feelings – to Him.
Rhia G. Adley is a 20-year-old blogger and writer at rhiagadley.wordpress.com. Better known as Emily to her peers, she enjoys studying topics of psychology and human relationships. When she’s not sleeping, working or catching up on her growing pile of school work, you can usually find her at her desk googling the most random things or in the kitchen experimenting with food. She enjoys MMA and is currently studying Art with Emphasis in Multimedia at a local college.
"I have said these things to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation, but take heart;
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"I will give thanks to you, Lord, with all of my heart; I will tell of all your wonderful deeds."