wow. It's been three months! Thank you all for being so patient with me!! ;) In these past few months, God has been teaching me SO much!! The top three things, I would say, are:
1. Keep on trusting Him, even in the unknown.
2. Guys won't ever complete me - nothing and no one can but the Lord. No matter who likes me, or who doesn't, I already have EVERYTHING I need in Jesus Christ! My worth is not dependent on guys or what others say!
3. I DON'T have it all together. I'm not perfect, and I have so much to learn!
Over the next few weeks, I'm hoping to go over each one of those more in depth. But today, Iet me just brag a lil bit about how GOOD and FAITHFUL God has been!! (also sorry in advance for the long post...trying to catch y'all up on what God has been doing so I can keep moving forward in future posts!)
Okay. Guys, wow. God has been so good this year!! ;)
Oki, but if I'm honest, life has been tough and wayyy unpredictable this year. My best friend moved away at the end of last year, and it's been tough without her, tough communicating, tough staying positive and hopeful sometimes.
BUT, GOD. I was literally bawling so much leading up to the day she would leave - but when she did move, the Lord filled me with so so so much peace!! He reminded me to keep on running to Him and praying, and whenever I would pray, He would fill me with SO much peace!!
And then, after that, I found out that a really treasured, close friend of mine was going to be changing schools. Ahh...time for more bawling!! But then the Holy Spirit reminded me to run to Him, and so I did, and WOW. All I could do was worship, and praise Him because He IS faithful and He IS good, even in this!! And He reminded me that I need to choose to trust Him, to trust that He has a beautiful plan, even in this. And He has just filled me with so so much peace!! Despite all the unknowns, and fears, I somehow was completely at peace. "Somehow" - that was so completely God! He comforted and calmed my heart and He is just so so good!
and wow, okay, - there is SO much peace in full surrender.
We also changed churches this year - and...it's been hard. It's been hard not knowing when we'll find a church. It's been hard not having a close community every Sunday. But the Lord has just been constantly reminding me of His faithfulness the last time we moved churches, and that He will do it again! He will remain faithful!
God has just filled me with so much hope and joy again. It's so crazy and so weird - I can be having the WORST day ever, but when someone asks how I'm doing, I can't say anything but that I'm doing great! - and it's true. Even on my hardest days, I can still have joy!
Because my God is so good and so faithful, and no matter what is thrown my way, He is right by my side, upholding me, and showing me that there's still hope and that He's still in control. How can I do anything but praise Him and rejoice? How can I be sad for long when I know that my God is holding my hand, comforting me, and reminding me that I'm going to be okay? How can I be worried when God keeps reminding me that He's already taken care of it?
He is literally SO good and so so so cool!! (hehe I know that's such a weak word for Him, but like seriously, He is so cool!! and so so good!) He's been speaking me through so many things - through people, through prayer, through His WORD -
Oh oh okay WAIT, speaking of which- I just started reading the Bible more in depth this year, and it has changed and grown my mindset and my faith SO much. There's a verse that talks about how God's Word is living and active, and seriously, that is so true! The Holy Spirit has been convicting me and reminding me of His promises and speaking to me through it. I started color-coding my Bible (highlyyy recommend!!), and it's just so so cool seeing how much of the Bible is about GOD and NOT me!!
Also also (sorry for my random rambling) I'm reading Psalms right now, and woowwww it is so good!! It makes my heart so happy and safe and reassured reading about how God is our Refuge, and our Strength, and our comfort and help in times of need!
He is holding our right hand. He tells us to pour out His heart to Him! He does not despise my broken heart! He is slow to anger and so merciful and gracious! He will cover us and protect us in the shadow of His wings - like wow, that is so so cool. He is our mighty Fortress. He is steadfast in His love. He chases me down when I run away! He is our Shepherd! Our joy! Our hope, and our trust!
And He is MINE. His love is grasping me, holding onto me. He won't let me go - and I rest in that. I will not fear - for He is with me. He is protecting me.
There are SO many things I could say about my God! I've been praying so much that God would cause me to fall in love with Him again, and He is answering my prayer in so many ways! He is filling me with a passion and a hunger for His word and for a deeper relationship with Him. And He is giving me courage to share about my faith with other people, and providing so many opportunities! He is just so so good to work on such a broken, sinful, messed-up soul like me and to see beauty where I see ashes! ;) God is SO GOOD! Like ahhhhh He is just so so so good!!
GOD IS SO GOOD!! And it just BLOWS my mind why God still loves me. I keep messing up and sinning and thinking I don't need Him, and disobeying Him, and grieving Him - and He's still here. He still loves me!! Like, why?! But how grateful I am that He does! He is so so so good!
And even though this corona virus is going around, God is continually reminding me of His plan and His faithfulness.
It's not going to be fun being stuck in my house for potentially weeks- but I trust that God is the one holding this all in His hands - not us. He's still in control, and still sovereign, despite the craziness and the unknown. It won't be easy, and this might take a long long long time. I don't know. But God will remain faithful and He has a plan through this!! And there are going to be so many opportunities from it - like being able to spend so much time with my family (another answered prayer!! God is so good!)! And being able to reach out to friends and others that may be more open in this season of the unknown.
No matter what's thrown at me, I know two things:
1. I'm prolly gonna stress out at first still...cuz I'm not perfect and I forget quickly that God's in control! But I also know that -
2. God is so good and will remind me and fill me with His peace and joy. He will remind me to put my trust in Him and everything will be okay, because He holds my future. No matter what happens, He will still remain faithful and unchanged. And I can rejoice in that! God is so so good ;)
I'm praying for you all!! Stay safe, and let your light shine :))
What's one way God has shown you His goodness and faithfulness recently?
"I have said these things to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation, but take heart;
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"I will give thanks to you, Lord, with all of my heart; I will tell of all your wonderful deeds."